Phobia for "Land Aqua-species"

i realise that i have phobia for "land aqua-species" or more commonly known as pondan.. i will get really scared when an ah kua is near me.. i know it's offensive and i know that some of them can't help themselves, but i too can't keep myself from being afraid of them. when i'm near any of them, i can assure that i can perform a better shuffle dance than Laurrrrrra...hehe..

i have a few bad experiences being near an ah kua. one night, after tuition in form 5, my brother drove me to the petanak street to see how ah kuas earn money... (u know near the construction site... but now the buildings are fully constructed). Goshhh.... when we reached there, i could see more than 5 ah kuas standing together, wearing sexy clothes... (not that sexy actually for them cuz they don't have the sine graph shape.. u know what i mean rite). my brother stopped at around 50 meters from them. so we looked at what they're doing. at that time i was already feeling quite scared. they were all waiting for customers to buy their service...(i was wondering who would want to have *** with them). they posed and showed their legs whenever a car passes by. oh God!! why would they show their legs. their legs are not sexy but fat and i can say that my leg is far more sexy than theirs..with unshaved but have rather smooth skin.. hehe...
as we looked, SUDDENLY an ah kua saw our car. the ah kua walked towards us. i was shocked. goosebumps rose and my heart was pumping so quickly. the feeling was awful. i would have rather face a dangerous criminal than facing the ah kuas. my brother didn't wanna drive away... the ah kua came nearer and nearer, 40 meters, 30, 20..... i was so scared i started to sweat (cold sweat). about 10 meters from the ah kua, my brother speeded away..Thank God!! i turned back and saw the ah kua feeling rather disappointed.

another experience was when i was eating at a cafe... (i won't name the place). i loved the food there but not the surroundings. Okay.. this is how the story goes.. i went there with my entire family. there were not many customers... so we chose the biggest table. a "waitress", i should say, came to take our order. Physically, this "waitress" looked really like a girl. she has quite a good shape as a girl. BUT, when the "waitress" asked "Nak makan apa?" we were all surprised.....the "waitress" 's voice was so deep... so deep that if Irene heard the "waitress" she could have grouped her into BASS for choir.. i nearly blurted out "Eeeeekkkkk.... Pondan!!!" but then i managed to control myself cuz i didn't wanna offence the "waitress". i immediately lose my appetite but still managed to stuff myself with a little bit of food..

that's actually two of my worst experiences.. but there's more infact...just not that awful...
**i'm sorry the writing is quite weird because i couldn't use pronouns to replace the noun. i'm just confused with the gender**